May 27, 2008

To Knot or Not?

This post is a borrowed one, or should I say bartered? Exchanged in lieu of an earliar one lended to a very dear friend. But since charity is not my middle name, I decided to lurk around and pounce on any chance of redeeming the favour I had done. And to state the obvious, I actually got my chance!

But considering my penchant for postscripts and asides ( thanks to the many Shakespearean works that I was made to learn by rote, and which I gradually fell in love with ) there have been some minor and major changes in the plot. (For one, the title has been changed.) Sorry Smruti. Well here goes the newer version.

BRIDE WANTED

Wanted convent educated, tall, fair, slim, homely girl. Well, every time somebody starts the topic of marriage, I can’t help but recall the above headline that dots the matrimonial columns of weekend newspapers. And I dread the day when I will be reduced to such a headline…the possibilities are enormous and I say a small prayer every Sunday, when I read the classifieds and don’t see my name or description featured in it.

It’s become a daily chore now. Well almost. To avoid the topic of marriage. Invariably someone or the other brings up the topic and somewhere down the line, everybody deems me the unfortunate victim - someone who has been passed on and will never know the pleasure of married life. And guess what...in the same sentence they will crib about their own spouse and the many pitfalls of married life, but hey that’s another topic, they say.

Right from near and distant relatives to well meaning and not so well meaning friends, almost all have the same concern - to see me married. So that they can all say in chorus "Another one bites the dust". It’s as if all the married people in the world are raging a silent war against the single population and they will not rest unless we join the fraternity, unless we pledge alliance to the secret society of unrealized expectations and everlasting nagging.

But now my friends have taken a different approach. One wants me to jot down the qualities that I need in my man so that she can go about looking for one, and a critical search on the many matrimonial websites is on. But she insists on the list, blissfully engrossed in her trousseau shopping. Now...well, my dear friend, if you so insist...here's the list. But let me clarify...My Love Don't Cost a Thing...Well...Really! Here's the tentative list :

1. Should love me, for all that I am and am not.

2. Money (Will make do with a decent amount)
3. Should be witty

4. Body (A reasonable physique will do. No six packs please!)

5. Have a political opinion (if it matches mine, that’s great…but even if it doesn’t-no problem, but should have one… most people I meet don’t have any political opinion of their own. Actually!)

6. Read books…fiction, non fiction, anything...(so that I can borrow and gift him some…it’s the bestest gift idea! But then again, no second hands please...And mind you, here I speak from experience!)

7. Should be passionate about travelingl…Andamans, North East, Backwaters, Ladakh, Rajasthan, Macchu Pichhu...infact....anywhere..!

8. Should have the time and money to go on such trips with me. (Well, if he's busy, I'll adjust. Just his money would do.)

9. Should be in love with both the sea and the mountains

10. Should not be protective or possessive about me

11. Should not talk to me for more than 2 hours in a day. ( And less, if I am NOT in the mood. Random phone calls are a strict no no. And Please, no enquiries about my diet regime, breakfast, lunch, dinner, et al.)

12. Should not be messy
13. Should not throw things on the road
14. Should not encourage beggars
15. Pet peeves would be allowed, but only once in a while.

16. Should be independent
17. Should not be mama’s boy
18. Should have at least one major relationship (That would take the pressure off me)

19. Should be active (one lazybones is enough, read me)
20. Should be practically impractical
21. Should be romantic without being mushy

22. Should love all my my friends

23. Should be willing to be part of my hare brained enterprises
24. Should manage to surprise me
25. Should be willing to yell at me once in a while (once in a while, I repeat)

26. Should be able to spend time with me without talking
27. Should be able to understand my moods
28. Should be able to understand how much he means to me without me ever saying it.

That's all for now. I know you would say, how considerate. But that's what I am, have always been.

2 comments:

walk the line said...

I could not stop myself writing this,after reading your expectations :)
Few things to remember in life :-
Start loving yourself more then ever.
Bored people are always boring people.
Having interests will help make us more fascinating in life.
In the world of relationship enrichment, "Couch Potatoes Need Not Apply".
I can't remember where i read these lines but i am sharing this with you...
As I stood and watched, two children were running on the playground in opposite directions, and I saw it coming before they did. They each circled the same object until they literally met in the middle. Two more kids came around and did the same thing.
Tempers flared, emotions ran high, tears ran down their cheeks and feelings were hurt. Less than two minutes later, they were off running and playing together, and all was forgotten.
What would happen in adult relationships if we learned how to do that? Instead of internalizing everything, we learn not to take it all so personally. Instead of holding grudges, we learn to hold hands.

Sheds a little light on the phrase, "Except you become like little children", doesn't it?

walk the line said...

I could not stop myself writing this,after reading your expectations :)
Few things to remember in life :-
Start loving yourself more then ever.
Bored people are always boring people.
Having interests will help make us more fascinating in life.
In the world of relationship enrichment, "Couch Potatoes Need Not Apply".
I can't remember where i read these lines but i am sharing this with you...
As I stood and watched, two children were running on the playground in opposite directions, and I saw it coming before they did. They each circled the same object until they literally met in the middle. Two more kids came around and did the same thing.
Tempers flared, emotions ran high, tears ran down their cheeks and feelings were hurt. Less than two minutes later, they were off running and playing together, and all was forgotten.
What would happen in adult relationships if we learned how to do that? Instead of internalizing everything, we learn not to take it all so personally. Instead of holding grudges, we learn to hold hands.

Sheds a little light on the phrase, "Except you become like little children", doesn't it?